Finally
by Daily News
Summary: She could get under his skin like no one could, but he was tired of it. If she couldn’t see what was right in front of her nothing would ever change. He was done… well that’s what he wanted to believe. L/J oneshot


Finally, Lily.

Author's Note: Enjoy this little bit from James and Lily Land! And thanks to **Take-me-to-fantasy** for being my beta, I know I'm a difficult sister sometimes but you're pretty cool…. I guess… whatever… ;) love ya

Description: She could get under his skin like no one could, but he was tired of it. If she couldn't see what was right in front of her nothing would ever change. He was done… well that's what he wanted to believe.

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There had been a progression of emotions. First he was crushed, his heart felt like it was breaking apart and it actually hurt to breathe. Then it was a mixture of shock and confusion. He couldn't understand her reaction, it was obvious that they were walking down the path that would lead them together.

But now he was only feeling rage. He was typically hot-headed when it came to Lily, but he had never been this mad. Every other time he could somehow understand how he messed up; he hadn't always been as… tactful. But this time it was her that choked, she didn't yell at him or get mad, she just tripped over her own stupid emotions and ran scared. And what pissed him off the most was that she knew she was being stupid, it was her own confused mind that kept putting up roadblocks, when the road was actually completely clear to drive down.

So in a pathetic attempt at calming himself down he paced back and forth in his dorm. His friends had tried to talk to him, but after almost being hexed a few times, they decided to give him his space by staying down in the common room.

His hands dug into his black hair. He slammed drawers, threw a random quaffle lying around the room, and then finally smashed his fist into the wall with a yell of frustration that was probably heard all the way out on the Quidditch pitch.

With a streaking pain shooting up his arm, he finally calmed. His breathing was uneven but they were deep concentrated breaths. His head slowly pressed into the cold wall. He knew that he had been overreacting, but it was so _frustrating_! They wanted to be together, finally, both parties wanted to be involved, but the point seemed moot. They would never be together and he had to face it.

How could he have messed it up this time?

The question swam around in his head. They both knew they were attracted to each other; they knew all of each other's stupidities and still loved being together. He had talked her into telling him everything, they knew each other from the inside out and they never tired of being together. Even when their ridiculous tempers flared they couldn't stay away.

He started to smile thinking of her temper and how she got so angry when he and the marauders broke a rule. She was so stingy sometimes. But he had broken down some of the firmly placed walls and even got the infallible Lily Evans to break curfew every now and then. He even got her to take a trip to Hogsmeade once on a Tuesday night. She might have had a minor panic attack at first but she slowly warmed and they ended up having a fantastic time.

But he stubbornly shoved the impulse to smile down. It wasn't hard when he thought what she had done to put him in this ridiculous mood.

Before he could work himself up again he decided he needed air. He grabbed his broom and jogged down the stairs and past his friends.

"You okay, man?" Sirius asked as James ran by.

He raised his hand in a silent response as he breezed past them and through the portrait hole.

He continued down toward the Quidditch pitch. As he was passing the library he stopped dead in his tracks. She had just walked out and when she looked up and saw him, her eyes grew wide and her expression was anxious.

All he could muster up was a glare, he knew it was childish but he couldn't help it. Standing there, his eyes bored into her, the only part of his stoic face that held emotion.

She flinched back, feeling slightly ashamed of her earlier behavior and feeling slightly self-conscious.

When he saw her flinch back his eyes softened. He was mad, but he didn't want to fight with her or scare her.

He heaved a sigh as he continued to look at her. His gaze shifted down the hall as his hand automatically brushed though his hair. He didn't know what to say.

He decided that at this moment there was nothing_ to _say. He just started down the hall again.

She watched him go, trying to say something, but she couldn't make her mouth move. Finally, as he made it outside, she caught up with him.

"James!" she yelled, her breath rising in the chilly March air.

He stopped at the sound of her voice, but he didn't turn around. He could feel his temper rising again and he didn't want to fight with her. He was tired of fighting.

"James, I…" she had slowly made her way up to him and laid her hand lightly on his arm.

James had the impulse to shove it off, he pushed it down. He was acting absurd, but he just needed to get in the air so he could shake off his rotten mood.

They both stood there in silence, her hand resting on him. No one moving. No one speaking.

"James, I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Stop. Just, stop." He said through gritted teeth. Her apology was cutting him deeper than he imagined. God, he just needed to make it to the pitch. Please let him get to the pitch without a fight.

"I… I just want things to go back to normal."

That was it. He couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"Normal? Lily, there has never been anything 'normal' about us!" he seethed. "We're off and on all the time, we hate each other one minute and can't be apart another. Tell me that sounds normal for friends Lily? And you are my best friend," he took a second to collect his thoughts, "but I'm done Lily, I can't be just your friend anymore because we aren't just friends and you're the only one who can't see it." He shifted his weight and looked away and then back to her trying to get the rest of his words out. "Lily, I told you where I stand. I want to be with you. That's it." His eyes tired, "I can't stay in this weird state of limbo, and you know it just as much as I do."

"James… it would mess everything up! We've become so close and I don't want to ruin that!" Lily looked slightly scared at what he was saying and anxious because she knew he would stick to his word.

"That's bullshit!" his eyes hardened, "that's bullshit Lily and you know it."

Lily looked stunned and she felt sick to her stomach.

He couldn't stand there any longer and listen to her lie to herself. Her dissolutions were hurting the both of them and he didn't have the patience right now to stand around and wait for her to figure that out.

He turned and continued down to the Quidditch pitch, leaving her outside the gates alone.

The chilly weather and the overcast skies made for a perfect flight for cooling off. The cold air biting at his face would help him to stop thinking for a while.

When he finally got up in the sky he stayed in the air for little over a half an hour before he couldn't help but think about Lily. He couldn't even get away from her when he was a few hundred meters in the air! He thought about how this whole thing started when he told her earlier today, after careful consideration and speech practicing, that he wanted to be with her because she was it for him. She was all he ever wanted and more.

She had stared at him at first, not thinking that her post- herbology activities would include James Potter coming up to her and making her head spin and her stomach flip. She didn't know how to react when her mouth was dry and her thoughts scrambled. She had made some lame, stuttering excuse to get away and think. And since then she had been hitting her head against a table in the library, thinking about what he had said and how she felt, and how dumbly she had reacted. He would probably hate her forever now.

She tried to think about what he said but anything James Potter did wasn't easy. He made her feel things she didn't know someone could feel for another, but she was so scared that this would muck up everything they had. And having hated him for the majority of their acquaintance didn't make her thoughts any more clairvoyant, it only made her head hurt more.

But her leaving him standing on the grounds, with nothing more than a crappy excuse, had left him devastated. And he couldn't get it out of his head.

He landed and stood in the same spot, taking a minute, when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. As soon as he turned around a pair of small hands were pushing him in the chest, angry green eyes stared at him and flaming red hair thrashed around her in the wind.

She looked so furious and her attempts were so futile, he couldn't help but crack a smile. His eyes even lightened and he chuckled.

"Lily? What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, you bastard?" she pushed him again; he took a half step back to humor her. "You are so stupid!"

He laughed outright at that.

"Me?" he grabbed her wrists lightly, "I think that you have us confused Lily, I believe it's you being stupid."

"Let me go you jerk!" He did and she paced back a few steps, then walked back towards him looking like she was about to yell at him. But she didn't, she just turned around again. The next time she turned to him she finally found her words.

"And I'm not being stupid, I'm just confused! What did you think I was going to do when you told me that?" she glared at him, "Jump into your arms so we could ride off into the sunset?"

His expression turned slightly thoughful, "Well, something like that, yes."

She took a deep breath and then continued. "I needed time to think about what I was going to say to you. And I know that I didn't handle myself very well earlier and I'm sorry. But I'm done thinking now and I have some things to say and you're going to let me say them without interruption, got it?"

He quirked an eyebrow, amused, but stayed quiet.

"Okay." She steadied herself, "James, we've finally become friends, after all these years of fighting and whatever that toxic relationship was, we finally can stand each other."

He opened his mouth to argue that point but she silenced him with a look.

"I get it, I was the one that couldn't stand you, and yes, I was cruel sometimes. But you've grown up since then and you're not the same person in many respects. I'm so glad that we've become friends because I can't imagine a day without you now. And that's the reason that I don't understand how, after all that fighting, you want to change the very stable dynamics of our friendship." She was slightly winded from giving that little speech, but now that she was improvising again, she looked worried. "What if it doesn't work out? What if we can't stand to look at each other when it's over?"

She stared him straight in the eye, unwavering, so he would know how serious she was, "I'm scared I'll lose you if we jump into this."

He wanted to die from exasperation. He almost rolled his eyes at her, but thought the better of it, so instead he let out an irritated chuckle.

"One, Lily our relationship has never been stable, whatever you might think. We might have a rhythm, but it's rickety at best. But as rickety as it might be, you're right. It _works_, we work. As friends or otherwise Lily, we work together. And secondly Lily, you could never lose me! I thought you'd have figured this out by now. Whether I wanted to or not, and my god I do, I'd be stuck loving you forever. So get it into your head, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever."

"But-!"

"No buts! Do you want to be with me Lily?" she opened and closed her mouth like a fish gasping for air. "Jesus Lily! Don't think about it, just tell me what you _want_ to do, what you feel is right!"

Looking at her staring at him he wanted to hit himself over the head. How could he ever believe himself able to walk away from her? He knew he wasn't capable of giving up hope.

When she stayed quiet, he decided to go for another approach. "Lily I know you're scared, so am I! I've never been with someone that I've loved before and certainly no one as hot-headed or stubborn as you. And I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I'm -- _we're_, going to work at it. We'll be together when it gets rough and we'll soak up the good times every chance we get." He walked towards her and laid his hands on her cheeks and look into her eyes. "Lily Evans, I love you and I'm willing to fight for you. So whether you want to wait 'til forever or get married tomorrow I'll be here." He smiled the biggest smile he had all day, showing her ever feeling that he had in his eyes.

He bent slowly down and their lips met in a brief kiss, so simple and light, but it held a promise of forever, and all Lily's arguments flew away as she felt safe and secure in his arms.

"Yes James, I want to be with you, I love you too." She smiled back at him.

He chuckled and planted another light kiss on her lips. "Thank god! I was wondering when you'd realize it."

She smiled at him, thinking of a thousand witty responses to his stupid comment, but she was so ridiculously happy that she could only muster a "Shut up," as she pulled him down for another kiss.


End file.
